Addiction

I have an addiction.

It has spiraled out of control over the last five months.

The more I have, the more I want. I can't stop.

It has consumed my life.

And my refrigerator.

I can't stop eating.....carrots.

Weird, right?

But it gets weirder.

One day several months ago, out of the clear blue, I was struck with a craving so bizarre, so so unheard of, so.....so.....so gross! I wanted to eat DIRT. I can't explain why. I don't understand it myself. I tried to get the thought out of my head for weeks but it wouldn't leave me. I've heard about this in pregnant women. "I couldn't be pregnant, could I?" Nope. But the craving continued.

I'll admit, there were times that the craving was so overwhelming that if I could have found some "acceptable" dirt, I probably would have tried eating it. But my dirt in my yard was constantly being sprayed with chemicals and that didn't sound appealing.

I tried to figure out how it was possible to crave something I've never eaten....have I?

I remembered growing up. We always had a vegetable garden. And in that garden we grew....carrots. And we'd pull the carrots and eat them right out of the dirt. As soon as that memory crossed my mind, that memory of dirt covered carrots, I HAD TO HAVE CARROTS!!

Shortly after, Mikey was headed to the grocery store. I casually asked him to pick up some carrots for me, not telling him of the childhood vision I'd just had. He picked up a large bag of baby carrots and apologized for getting such a big bag. "It's all they had, so most of them will probably go bad before they're eaten". Boy was he surprised when they were gone in a couple of days. And I wanted more.

This continued for months. I was eating between 1 and 3 pounds of carrots every day. And that was only because I was limiting myself. I could have eaten more. I was out of control!

I had heard this myth that if you eat lots of carrots, your skin will turn orange. Let me tell you, that is not true. My skin, in fact, turned yellow. It started in my hands, but eventually all of my skin started to get a yellowish hue. People started to notice. Mike started to make fun. I giggled about it for a while, but it kept getting worse. It started to get embarrassing and I was self conscious about it. So, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

Doctors know everything, right? All of that school and training and such. Surely, he'll know what this is all about. I'd been reading on line about my cravings so I figured I knew exactly what he'd say. I knew he was going to tell me that it's an iron deficiency.

Instead he said "I can refer you to a psychologist".

"WHAT???" I'm not crazy! "You think this is all in my head??" He said yes.

I wasn't going to accept that. I had done my research. I had read article after article on line. They all pretty much said the same thing, iron deficiency.

"Shouldn't you check my iron level?" I insisted. "I read on line that's typically the cause of these types of cravings". He shrugged and agreed to do a quick finger prick test. And, as suspected, it was low. Not really low, but lower than normal especially considering I've been on a multi vitamin with iron.

That's right, Mr. Know It All Doctor!! I'm NOT crazy. I don't need to see the doctor for loonies. I have a legitimate reason for my unusual cravings.

So he sent me home with a hefty iron supplement and a suggestion to stop buying carrots, stop eating carrots. Those words gave me quite a bit of anxiety but I agreed. There was still a 2 pound bag of carrots in my house, and like any addict, I didn't throw it away. I couldn't do it. I needed it here, just in case. I'm proud to say that I only ate 4 baby carrots yesterday. It's only 8:30 AM today, but so far I've had none. It's a big accomplishment for me. I think I know what smokers and alcoholics feel like when trying to quit. I think about carrots a LOT. I have to keep myself busy to NOT think about it.

It's crazy that I have to stop myself from eating a vegetable.

I agreed to go back to a follow up appointment with my doctor in 4 weeks. And I'm determined to convince him that I am NOT crazy. I can kick this. Carrots don't control my life. I don't need to see a psychologist.

Can you imagine rehab? For a carrot addiction?

Pathetic.

It's here.

There's no avoiding it.

I thought if I was quiet and ignored it, it would just go away without anyone even noticing its existence.

No such luck.

It has taken over my house and my family.

There is nothing to do now but just wait it out. Close my eyes and hope it passes quickly.

The NFL Season has begun.

And I feel like a single mom. Mike lives in his man cave only to come out for more food and drinks. But I was warned. He told me this is the way it would be before I said "I do". It was a life I agreed to and entered into willingly.

But really, how can I argue with something that makes them so happy?

Preschool - Take Two

Haylee started her second year of preschool last week. She has been so excited to go back and it was a much easier transition than last year. She loves school and Mike loves having just one kid to watch three mornings a week. Doesn't she look cute in her first-day-of-school new outfit? She's so grown up, I just can't get over it. Over the weekend we were at the grocery store. We have a deal that if she behaves then she can pick out a treat at the end. Yes, I bribe good behavior from my kids. I don't think they're capable of it any other way. Don't judge. Anyway, she usually picks out chocolate (that's my girl!), or sometimes it will be new crayons or a coloring book. But this time she wanted lip gloss!!! She's only four but it was more important to her than anything else in the store. According to her, she needs "shiny lips like Mommy". I thought about rolling my eyes and telling her she's way too young for such things, but secretly I was so excited! I think it's cute and it feels like the beginning of us being able to share fun girly things together. We settled on a clear sparkly lip gloss. She loves it. I have to hide it or she'd be applying it all day long.

Here are some more pictures from her first day of school....


Kissy-face

Scary face (at least that's what she calls it. I think it's too cute to be scary)

Her new Twinkle Toe Skechers that she insisted I take a picture of. Love that kid!!

Happy Birthday to Me???

I had a birthday over the weekend. No need to say which birthday it was because I'm trying (desperately) to convince myself that it's just a number. I still feel young...I think. But I'm afraid this birthday has officially put me into my mid-30's (gulp). I'm not sure, I'll have to look into that.

It was a great day nonetheless. Mike left a dozen roses on my nightstand for me to wake up to. What a guy! *sigh* Then we spent the morning doing yard work and taking a bunch of stuff to the dump. Doesn't sound like much of a birthday activity, but I quite enjoy yard work. And I've found that a big house means more room to hide junk and getting rid of it calms the inner-crazy in me.

A friend of mine took the kids for a couple hours in the afternoon so Mike and I got a lunch date and went shopping WITHOUT kids. I forgot how fast I can get things done without the kids slowing me down. It was awesome.

Then Mike had to go to work so it was just me and the kids for the rest of the day. I kept trying to convince Haylee that it was my birthday. Our conversations went something like this:

Me: Haylee, did you know it's Mommy's birthday today?
Haylee: No, it's not.
Me: Yeah, it really is.
Haylee: Then where are your balloons?
Me: Daddy got me flowers instead.
Haylee: It's not your birthday, Mom.

***DISCLAIMER***
The remainder of this story contains disturbing details that may not be suitable for all audiences. Any person reading this who is not currently a parent may find the occurences too disgusting and disturbing to ever parent children. The author will not be held responsible for any life changing decisions these stories may cause.

That evening I was helping Haylee take her shoes off when out of no where, she spit in my face. Yeah, you heard me. I looked at her while I counted to ten so I wouldn't slap her. She know she was in big trouble. And whenever she's in trouble she comes up with something cute to say so I can't be mad. So she says in her sweetest, most innocent voice, "Happy Birthday Mommy!" Oh, so now it's my birthday? Lucky for her, it worked. I'm a sucker for her cuteness.

And Gage? What did he give me for my birthday? Well, I was giving the kids a bath and he was ready to get out. So I dried him off and he ran off to play, naked. I was halping Haylee rinse the shampoo from her hair when I looked over at Gage. He was thinking REALLY hard. I knew that look on his face, as any Mom would. He was going to poop. And he was naked. Standing on the carpet. I ran to him and he thought it was a game so he turned and ran away. I caught him, I put my hand over his bum and I ran for the bathroom. I'd like to tell you there's a happy ending to this story. let's just say my carpet was saved. My hand was not.

Is it safe to boil my hand?

Spit in the face and poop in my hand.

Happy Birthday to me.

Why it takes 45 minuets to vaccuum one room!

Hey Mom! Are you going to vaccuum?

Do you need some help? I'm really good at it!

Don't worry, I won't miss a spot. Go ahead and take it easy. I'll take it from here.

I've missed you vaccuum. Come here. I want to give you a hug.

It tickles my tummy.

This is hard work, I think I need to sit down for a little bit.

Hey, I've got an idea.....I'm going to sit here and not move until you push me around on this thing. I can wait aaaaallllll day, beleive me! But I'm cute, right? How can you say no to this face?

Congratulations Graduate!

On Wednesday Haylee graduated from her first year of preschool. Isn't she gorgeous? (thanks Grandma Herbert for her beutiful dress!)

She made so many new friends and had such a good time at school. We decided to put her in preschool when she was three for a few reasons, but mostly so that she would learn how to play with kids. Being the first child of the family, she was always around grown ups and was having a hard time just playing and being silly. Fortunately, she learned how to be silly very quick and she now loves playing with kids. She's still super shy, but she'll eventually warm up and want to play.

She's so shy and timid that I was worried when her teacher called out her name to come up and get her graduation certificate that she wouldn't. I didn't think she would want to be the center of attention in front of that big crowd. But as soon as the teacher called her name she marched right up there like it was no one's business. She's really grown up this year. I'm so proud of her!

She was in a fun class with a fun teacher. Now we just have to keep her busy this summer until school starts again this fall.

Congratulations Haylee. We're so proud of you!

Happy Birthday Haylee!

Can you believe Haylee is four? How could my baby girl already so old? Look at her, isn't she the cutest little four year old you've ever laid eyes on? Maybe I'm biased, but I think she's absolutely beautiful. She had a fun-filled day. I asked her the night before her birthday what she wanted for her birthday breakfast. Right away she said "blue waffles!". On St. Patrick's Day I told her that I was going to make her green waffles. She said no, she wanted blue, not green. I don't think she quite understood St. Patricks tradition of green. But she didn't get over her craving for blue waffles so on her birthday she got her wish....blue waffles. And she was so happy!

Then, she was off to preschool. While she was gone we decorated the house with streamers and lots of balloons. For weeks we've been talking about her birthday and we always talked about having balloons. She was so cute, when she walked in the house after school she looked around and got the cutest grin on her face. Then she looked up at me and whispered "Mom, it's my birthday!". I had been telling her all morning that it was her birthday but I guess it didn't seem real until she saw her birthday baloons. It was so cute!

Then we headed to Chuck E Cheese for lunch. Well, I guess it was lunch for Mike and I. The kids were not interested in the pizza one bit. They were too excited to run and play. No time to stop and eat. They had a blast! It was my first time ever going to Chuck E Cheese but we had such a great time, I'm sure we'll be going again very soon.

Haylee did not want to leave, so we had to bribe her with ice cream to get her out. Worked like a charm!

Next we headed home to open presents! She got lots of new clothes, a DVD (The Princess and the Frog).....

And a bike helmet. She was a little confused about the bike helmet. When we put it on her, she said quietly to herself "helmet for a bike". She didn't realize what was waiting for her out in the garage......

A new bike!!! She was so excited! She got on it right away and insisted on riding it all by herself. She's not the most coordinated child. She couldn't figure out how to peddle it and REALLY couldn't figure out how to peddle and steer at the same time. She finally decided that it was okay for me to push her around while she learned how to steer. She's coming along but won't he riding by herself for some time still.

When I could finally pull her off her bike we came inside and watched her new movie in the theater room with popcorn, candy and drinks. She was in heaven! Then we had dinner, and of course, birthday cake.

We had a fun day. I sure love that girl. She's such a sweetheart and we're so lucky to have her! Happy Birthday Haylee!