Happy Birthday to Me???

I had a birthday over the weekend. No need to say which birthday it was because I'm trying (desperately) to convince myself that it's just a number. I still feel young...I think. But I'm afraid this birthday has officially put me into my mid-30's (gulp). I'm not sure, I'll have to look into that.

It was a great day nonetheless. Mike left a dozen roses on my nightstand for me to wake up to. What a guy! *sigh* Then we spent the morning doing yard work and taking a bunch of stuff to the dump. Doesn't sound like much of a birthday activity, but I quite enjoy yard work. And I've found that a big house means more room to hide junk and getting rid of it calms the inner-crazy in me.

A friend of mine took the kids for a couple hours in the afternoon so Mike and I got a lunch date and went shopping WITHOUT kids. I forgot how fast I can get things done without the kids slowing me down. It was awesome.

Then Mike had to go to work so it was just me and the kids for the rest of the day. I kept trying to convince Haylee that it was my birthday. Our conversations went something like this:

Me: Haylee, did you know it's Mommy's birthday today?
Haylee: No, it's not.
Me: Yeah, it really is.
Haylee: Then where are your balloons?
Me: Daddy got me flowers instead.
Haylee: It's not your birthday, Mom.

***DISCLAIMER***
The remainder of this story contains disturbing details that may not be suitable for all audiences. Any person reading this who is not currently a parent may find the occurences too disgusting and disturbing to ever parent children. The author will not be held responsible for any life changing decisions these stories may cause.

That evening I was helping Haylee take her shoes off when out of no where, she spit in my face. Yeah, you heard me. I looked at her while I counted to ten so I wouldn't slap her. She know she was in big trouble. And whenever she's in trouble she comes up with something cute to say so I can't be mad. So she says in her sweetest, most innocent voice, "Happy Birthday Mommy!" Oh, so now it's my birthday? Lucky for her, it worked. I'm a sucker for her cuteness.

And Gage? What did he give me for my birthday? Well, I was giving the kids a bath and he was ready to get out. So I dried him off and he ran off to play, naked. I was halping Haylee rinse the shampoo from her hair when I looked over at Gage. He was thinking REALLY hard. I knew that look on his face, as any Mom would. He was going to poop. And he was naked. Standing on the carpet. I ran to him and he thought it was a game so he turned and ran away. I caught him, I put my hand over his bum and I ran for the bathroom. I'd like to tell you there's a happy ending to this story. let's just say my carpet was saved. My hand was not.

Is it safe to boil my hand?

Spit in the face and poop in my hand.

Happy Birthday to me.