Addiction

I have an addiction.

It has spiraled out of control over the last five months.

The more I have, the more I want. I can't stop.

It has consumed my life.

And my refrigerator.

I can't stop eating.....carrots.

Weird, right?

But it gets weirder.

One day several months ago, out of the clear blue, I was struck with a craving so bizarre, so so unheard of, so.....so.....so gross! I wanted to eat DIRT. I can't explain why. I don't understand it myself. I tried to get the thought out of my head for weeks but it wouldn't leave me. I've heard about this in pregnant women. "I couldn't be pregnant, could I?" Nope. But the craving continued.

I'll admit, there were times that the craving was so overwhelming that if I could have found some "acceptable" dirt, I probably would have tried eating it. But my dirt in my yard was constantly being sprayed with chemicals and that didn't sound appealing.

I tried to figure out how it was possible to crave something I've never eaten....have I?

I remembered growing up. We always had a vegetable garden. And in that garden we grew....carrots. And we'd pull the carrots and eat them right out of the dirt. As soon as that memory crossed my mind, that memory of dirt covered carrots, I HAD TO HAVE CARROTS!!

Shortly after, Mikey was headed to the grocery store. I casually asked him to pick up some carrots for me, not telling him of the childhood vision I'd just had. He picked up a large bag of baby carrots and apologized for getting such a big bag. "It's all they had, so most of them will probably go bad before they're eaten". Boy was he surprised when they were gone in a couple of days. And I wanted more.

This continued for months. I was eating between 1 and 3 pounds of carrots every day. And that was only because I was limiting myself. I could have eaten more. I was out of control!

I had heard this myth that if you eat lots of carrots, your skin will turn orange. Let me tell you, that is not true. My skin, in fact, turned yellow. It started in my hands, but eventually all of my skin started to get a yellowish hue. People started to notice. Mike started to make fun. I giggled about it for a while, but it kept getting worse. It started to get embarrassing and I was self conscious about it. So, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor.

Doctors know everything, right? All of that school and training and such. Surely, he'll know what this is all about. I'd been reading on line about my cravings so I figured I knew exactly what he'd say. I knew he was going to tell me that it's an iron deficiency.

Instead he said "I can refer you to a psychologist".

"WHAT???" I'm not crazy! "You think this is all in my head??" He said yes.

I wasn't going to accept that. I had done my research. I had read article after article on line. They all pretty much said the same thing, iron deficiency.

"Shouldn't you check my iron level?" I insisted. "I read on line that's typically the cause of these types of cravings". He shrugged and agreed to do a quick finger prick test. And, as suspected, it was low. Not really low, but lower than normal especially considering I've been on a multi vitamin with iron.

That's right, Mr. Know It All Doctor!! I'm NOT crazy. I don't need to see the doctor for loonies. I have a legitimate reason for my unusual cravings.

So he sent me home with a hefty iron supplement and a suggestion to stop buying carrots, stop eating carrots. Those words gave me quite a bit of anxiety but I agreed. There was still a 2 pound bag of carrots in my house, and like any addict, I didn't throw it away. I couldn't do it. I needed it here, just in case. I'm proud to say that I only ate 4 baby carrots yesterday. It's only 8:30 AM today, but so far I've had none. It's a big accomplishment for me. I think I know what smokers and alcoholics feel like when trying to quit. I think about carrots a LOT. I have to keep myself busy to NOT think about it.

It's crazy that I have to stop myself from eating a vegetable.

I agreed to go back to a follow up appointment with my doctor in 4 weeks. And I'm determined to convince him that I am NOT crazy. I can kick this. Carrots don't control my life. I don't need to see a psychologist.

Can you imagine rehab? For a carrot addiction?

Pathetic.